8 (1/1)

Neither of us had slept at all tonight, we just blankly got back to our usual daily activities.After we have switched turns in the bathroom I went out to get cigarettes whilst Taehyung stayed at home and made breakfast.Kind of hoping that he'll follow his, only since recently broken, daily routine, I sat at the kitchen table and opened today's newspaper, pretending to actually read them .He appeared in less than a minute, munching on something rather loudly, and took a seat beside me.I didn't dare to look up but I could almost feel him examining my every breath and finding all sorts of secret meanings behind them.His chair was too close too mine, I hated when people wouldn't sit on the opposite side, the table being the perfect conversation distance."Eat." he commanded I continued to pretend that I'm interested in articles about botanists of Europe for a while longer, and then without a word I put them away and started eating .Taehyung was a good cook, he could make scrambled eggs taste like fine cuisine, he'd put weird ingredients into everything and somehow it always turned out to be tasty.Once he explained that cooking doesn't require anything but ''a bit of risking and putting all logic a side.''I asked him if it's difficult for him to stay illogical but he replied with a chuckle, and said that nothing is difficult for him."You're such a strange human being." he suddenly voiced as I was chewing on my last bite"What?" I asked with my mouth still half full, and my eyes momentarily lifting up to himHe was staring someplace else for a change, and I could see that his thought hadn't come to an end yet, so I waited for that to happen."You see" he started after a long pause "You don't know much about me, almost nothing, you never asked and I never told, and yet, if you'd close your eyes and I told you to try and picture me in your head, I am absolutely sure you'd perfectly put all of my features in place, not missing a single detail.""I've been looking at you for a year now, how is that strange?" I hissed right back"Mmm" he continued still deep in thought "But what if I didn't ask?""Huh?""What if I didn't ask you to picture me? No one asked, right ? And yet something tells me I'm there."I counted to ten in my head, and closed my eyes for a while. Restraining myself from punching him right into his face became brutally difficult and I just slowly exhaled."You're wrong." I finally said"Maybe. Yeah, maybe I am. Don't get paranoid with your own thoughts now." he replied and looked awayI looked at him in disbelief, literally bewildered with his self-confidence to the point where it made me want to set him to flames."Did your decision change?" he asked after a while, looking straight into me"Yes." I confessedHe chuckled and I just wanted to ruin his smile with this fork that was still in my hand."I'm not quitting." I hurried to make him stop being giggly "What?" he frowned instantly"I'm not quitting.""But you said-""I said you're done and I said I don't know about myself.""No,I mean, you said your decision changed?" he was evidently confused"Well, yesterday I was almost sure I'd leave this, but now I'm sure I won't .""But you can't-""I already did."The silence became deafening as his eyes fell to the phone on the table and stood there for a while."I don't really understand ." he slowly confessed"There's nothing to understand though." I was quick "Did I even take part at this in any way ? Did you consider my existence at all?" he became more worked up and even I was surprised with how much he didn't expect this outcome"Yes, you were the one who made it hard on me in the first place." I calmly replied"And hows that??" his voice tone got higherI sighed."At first I had these ridiculous thoughts about me depending on you in a really weird way,I thought without you I'd forget to eat in the morning and go to bed at night because just like this you were my routine. But after receiving..help? from you, my mind got perfectly clear and I realized my sanity was just blocked with all sorts of frustrations,so thank you? And now that it isn't, well, I guess I can think straight." I was proud of my little explanation "Think straight ? You can't even be straight! Whether it's my brain you'll be needing to plan all the shit for you, or it's my fucking mouth you'll crave to demolish with your dick, you won't get by a single day!" he was actually mad, and it surprised me to see him like this"Well sorry to disappoint you but-""No! no! Don't give me this shit!" he yelled while getting up and walking away from the table "Don't say you're sorry but your mind has already been made up. Don't you dare say it."I only opened my mouth to argue but after realizing that was exactly what I was going to say I just closed them and looked away.Taehyung stormed out while I did so, and I wondered if this really made such an influential impact on him.He stormed back in right away and put something heavy at the table as it made a loud noise:"Look!" he yelled, and my eyes stood glued to his face"LOOK!" he now screamed, and my attention finally moved to the object in front of meMy eyes met themselves for the first time in a long time, and I almost hitched when I saw my own reflection.Like an idiot, I let time pass by with my attention still fully dedicated to my face "Do you even recognize yourself Jung Daehyun?" he asked me quietlyThe way he used my full name almost disgusted me because even I had troubles identifying it."You don't have to tell me, but tell yourself - what do you see ?"I didn't know what I saw. Perhaps, I saw some anger, I saw tiredness, I saw sins written all over me. I saw the mole under my eye and it was the only thing that I could say is mine and that I'm glad to see it."This is not the face of someone who goes around and murders people, even less, the face of someone who'll willingly continue to do it.At least admit me this much."His voice was strong and sharp, at the same time pleading but demanding too."I'm sorry. " was all that came out of my mouth and I gently knocked the mirror down.Taehyung accepted the lost battle, he exhaled loudly and stood there for a while in silence."So what now?" he finally broke the tranquility"Now? Now, you're going to pack and you're going to tell me goodbye and ask me to take care of myself, and then.. Then you're gonna leave."I explained slowly like he was nothing but a little child"Where to?" he was prepared"You can take all the money, and-""I don't care about the fucking money for fuck sake! Where the hell am I going to go Daehyun?" he almost jumped at me"You are going to go home.'' after i sensed his next reply i added "Find it."He nodded cynically and left the room.The rest of the morning I sat in the same chair and he packed all along.I could hear him throwing punches at the door when they'd close at him but he was silent beside it.After only an hour or so he was completely finished with everything and he moved his bags closer to the front door.He sat on the couch to rest for a while, and I felt obligated to dare and sit beside."Are you going to be okay ?" I asked more out of politeness than curiosity "Am I not always?" he repliedI forced myself into a chuckle and he rested his elbows on his knees."Did you really never even care?" he asked, but it felt like a rhetorical question so I made it easy on myself and stayed silent."You know, it usually takes an emotionless man to do your job, Itchy.""I guess I'm an emotionless man then." I replied"Nah." he revolted "You're not." Shortly after, he stood up and I mechanically stood up too "Good luck then." I tried to do this goodbye thing in the most proper way"So this is when I ask you to take care of yourself, right?" he implied on my previous wordings"Yes." I smiled, and his chuckle almost turned into a little laugh "I'm not really going to." I smiled again and patted his shoulder "Ofcourse you aren't."Suddenly, he caged my hand with his own and out of nowhere pulled it up to the juncture where his shoulder met his neck and then he just let it go all of the sudden, and it fell.My eyes fixated themselves onto the certain spot, and they instantly captured the bruised skin in shape of my ordered teeth."Take care Itch" he pulled me out of my thoughts as he turned around and slowly approached the doorI waited for him to turn around one last time before he closes it behind him because it was such a Taehyung thing to do.But before I even finished thinking about it, he was gone and I was left to enjoy my solitude.I took a dramatical walk over the apartment, hurrying myself into getting used to the emptiness right away.He wasn't sleeping on the couch, nor was he just lazying around like he usually would.He wasn't at his little work table either, and it surprised me to see that he left all of his notes and drawings right there.I mechanically approached it and it wasn't really hard to spot the paper on top, blank except for the huge bold letters written with a marker:"Good luck with these." it saidI sighed.He wasn't at the kitchen either like he would usually be at this time, making lunch for us both.at the fridge there was a sticky note, and I damned myself for missing out on when he put it there,

since I was the one who spent the whole day here.

it said "Don't even try." and right beside it there was the number of the chinese food restaurant

All over the place there were notes like this, and I honestly wondered when did he get the time to do this,

as it seemed like he planned it for a whole year.I found the last one when I decided to go to sleep.

It wasn't a sticky note, it was just a usual white piece of paper and with messy righting it said"Don't forget. I killed a person so you would make the right choice. Make the right choice."

the word 'killed' was bolded, in italic, underlined and circled.At this point I almost wished he'd knock on the door and say he forgot something, anything, and I could tell him that I did.

From the start up until now I knew I was going to quit it.

I just wanted him out of my life and to lie was my best option.

"I made the right choice." I said to no one in particular, put the note aside and closed my eyes.

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(A/N) Oh well, here's my 4th update in this short couple of days, as I won't be home for a few days and I wanted to thank you in advance

for waiting up on me. I hope you'll look forward to the continuation, as I really do! <3