Welcoming (1/1)

A/N: Happy new year to everyone~ I wanna say thank you for all the support for this story and I hope I won't disappoint you all. Thanks again!“Don’t ever leave me, Hyunnie. Please don’t.”I pick at a tiny scab that formed on the side of thumb, from pinching a bit of my skin countless times, every other hour I lied awake in my hospital room. Every hour I lied awake with Jiyong at my side, I feverishly pinch myself, hoping that when I blinked, I would wake up from this dream, and I would remember. Every try, I hoped that I would be brought back to Jiyong; and to my true self.But I’m still here, my nails digging into my skin, as I take slow steps towards a building I’d never been in before – a place I was told to call my “home.”“We’re here, hyung,” Jiyong says quietly, as he untwines his arm from around mine. I look up from my hands and realize I am already past the threshold of the mansion-like home, as well as the center attention of the people that had gathered inside it.“Welcome home, Hyung!” they greet. They are the same group of people that had visited me in the hospital. Even he was there, the boy that had given me such a heartfelt card.I turn my attention behind them, and see a huge banner echoing what they’d just said, in huge, dark letters, with exciting colors surrounding them. I take everything in indignantly, not sure what to say.“Take a seat, hyung, you must be exhausted!” the card-boy exclaims, breaking apart from the group and gesturing to a large sofa in the center of the room. I close my mouth, realizing it had been slightly open, and follow suit.xxxI’m fidgeting with my fingers again, as I’m left alone in the room, sitting awkwardly on the expensive-looking leather sofa. I’m scanning everything around my shyly, afraid I would get caught guilty of not remembering anything about this home at all, even after saying I did.But soon, I realized I didn’t have to worry, because they knew all of this already. They knew I was clueless about this world. They didn’t think I could hear them, but I could.Jiyong and the others were in the kitchen, talking about me.“He doesn’t remember anything?”“Nothing...Well, he says he remembers my name, but that’s all.”“Omo, so he doesn’t even remember us?”There’s a brief silence. “N-no, I’m afraid not, Dae. The doctor said that after the accident...”What, Jiyong? What accident? What happened? What caused me to be like this?There’s another silence, but it hangs longer. It’s sorrow.I bite my lip and my gaze falls down to the carpeted floor. I feel terrible. I’m upset that I can’t remember; I can’t remember who I am, where I am, who I loved, or who I’m supposed to love.I see a glint of light from the corner of my eye and I revert my attention to it, taking in a breath, as I seem something so lovely, yet so tragic at the same time.There are a pile of pictures of Jiyong and I, sitting on the table beside me, and they are scattered, as if they’d been gone through over and over, and urgently left behind. As I reach out to get one, my chest begins to hurt, and my sadness deepens.We seemed so happy, but right now we are both so sad. It’s so beautiful, I thought to myself, but now it’s all destroyed.His letter is still tucked into my shirt and it begins to burn again. I keep one of the pictures and put it away with the letter, thinking that maybe with the help of the image, I’ll be able to remember easier.The shuffle of footsteps nearby reminds me that it won’t be all that easy.xxxI feel like I child and I hate it.“Again, this is Daesung, Taeyang, and Seungri. Have you remembered yet?”I fidget around in my seat. I don’t.Jiyong sighs quietly and brings out another picture of all of us together. “We’re part of a group called BigBang,” he begins again. “You’re T.O.P.”He points to me on the photograph, but I don’t feel as happy as the person seems in the picture.“This is me, I’m G-Dragon. But you call me Jiyong,” he continues. “This is Daesung, Taeyang, and Seungri.” He looks up from the picture to introduce the actual people in the picture, and when I follow his gaze, they all look back at us excitedly. Except for one of them.I am determined to remember his name next, and I wait for Jiyong to go through them again.“One more time?” Jiyong asks softly. I nod and look away from the picture in his hands, confident that I’ll learn without it.“Okay. So that’s Daesung, he’s the one that gave you the messy card,” Jiyong almost laughs. He is the blonde-haired boy, with his hair always in his face. He brushes it away, almost as if on queue, and I nod.“That’s Taeyang,” Jiyong says, pointing to the boy with spiky hair. He salutes me and I nod back, mentally leaving to remember him last.“And that’s Seungri,” Jiyong finishes. That’s the name of the boy that doesn’t seem to care about anything at the moment. He’s the one I’ll remember next.I scan all of them silently, and nod again. I’ve improved, or so I think.“Can you name them all again out loud?”I freeze. I can’t. I don’t say a word.“Aish, this is pointless,” Seungri sighs under his breath. He turns and leaves the room with a thump, and suddenly I am angry. The other boys glance to watch him leave, and it is apparent they want to follow suit. They all look at Jiyong for permission, and he nods slowly.Jiyong’s eyes falls to the image of us as a group, and he traces each of our faces with his soft fingers. He smiles lightly, even though his eyes are full of pain.“You can leave,” I say, expressionless.He looks up at me and is surprised by the sound of my voice. I am too.“What?”“Leave,” I say again. My throat tightens, and I dig my thumbnail into my skin again.“But Hyung,” he replies, his voice trailing off.“I don’t need you right now,” I say, my voice getting louder. “You can leave, like the rest of them.”“I’m here to help you remember!” he exclaims, almost desperately. He turns to me, reaching out the picture of us. “You need to remember!”From the corner of my eye, I know he is pleading, but I don’t look at him. I keep my eyes straight ahead at the lifeless banner still hung up against the wall. It gets harder to swallow, and my nail digs deeper.“Hyung, don’t you want to remember?” he nudges the picture towards me again and I glance at him, abruptly whipping the photo out his hands. He lets out a quiet cry and I instantly regret it. But I do not stop.“Just leave me alone, Jiyong.” My voice holds no remorse. I grit my teeth together, enduring the pain hidden in my sleeves as I continue to puncture my skin.Wake me up already, I plead inside. I can’t stand this anymore.“But...”“Leave!”He gives me a hard, unbelieving stare before he rises and stalks away. I sense him pause at the threshold to another room, and I inhale.“Now,” I growl.Jiyong finally leaves and I am alone again, just like from the start of this terrible nightmare. I look down at my sleeve and see a dark stain. When I pull it back, I see that I am bleeding; and I still haven’t woken up.Beside me, I see another aspect of my past on the floor again, except this time; I am not determined to pick it up.I close my eyes and fall back against the sofa’s cushions.T.O.P, Daesung, Seungri, Taeyang, and... And... “...He doesn’t even remember us?”“Aish, this is pointless.”When I open my eyes, I reach into my shirt, and begin to read again.