Chapter 20 (1/1)

My fingers fumbled for the water knob before turning the stream of water off. I shut my eyes, allowing the warm, soothing water to run down the tip of my nose to my neck. Drying myself off, I stared into the mirror. It has been almost 3 hours since I got home. So many things had happened today.Everything about Daesung, its too much to handle.I shouldn't have hurt him like this. Maybe I should have put it to him in a gentler way to soften the blow. Maybe I should've tried harder to make him stay. Maybe I should've apologized more.  I thought of everything I should have done to minimize the pain I caused him as I stepped out of the shower, fully dressed, the towel hanging loosely across my shoulders to dry my damp hair. Plopping myself down on the bed wearily, my eyes caught sight of my sling bag that now lies pathetically at the corner of my room where I had flung it when I got home.  "How is Daesung now?" I whispered to my bag, as if it can feel my worries as my guilt started to eat at my conscience again. Instintively, I reached for my handphone lying at the corner of the table. Fingers lingering over the familiar contact in my logbook named "Daesung", I hesistated.  Of course, why would he pick up my call now? Besides, what right do I have to bother him, after destroying him just a moment ago and now calling to ask if he's okay? Ironic. Sighing, my fingers scrolled down the list again before it stopped, hovering over a contact titled "Annoying Jerk"  "Yeobuseyo?" Jiyong yawned, picking up the call after just 2 rings, "What's up, Kyungmi?"  "Nothing much. Have you reached home safely?" I asked, smiling a little unconsciously upon his voicce.  "Oh, obviously not. I actually died on the way back. You're speaking to the spirit of me in my former life now." Jiyong said sarcastically and I grunted on the other line. He chuckled, "What are you doing?"  "Just showered," My reply was nonchalent.  "You did? Damn, I should've been there..." He groaned dramatically as I felt the corner of my lips tugged.  "Pervert."   "You're welcomed. Any plans for tomorrow?"  "I can't, I'm filming for this new drama." I sighed, reminded of the hectic schedule that'll follow once filming began.  "Guess an actress's always busy, huh?" He said and I acknowledged. Silence ensure as we laid comfortably on our own beds, just listening to the breathing of each other.  "Oppa.." I began softly, breaking the silence. On the other end of the line, Jiyong inhaled sharply and I could hear him sitting upright on his bed.  "What's wrong?" He asked cautiously, "You don't call me oppa. What's wrong?"  I sighed, shutting my eyes. He caught it almost immediately and pressed, "Kyungmi, what's wrong? Why're you sighing?"  "It's just.." I began, unsure of how to put it to him. Part of me is afraid that he would misunderstand my intentions but part of me trust him that he trusts me. "It's just that.. Jiyong ah, has Daesung reached home?"  He swallowed and another silence filled us.  "He did." He said finally.  "How.. is he?" I said carefully and a sigh escaped Jiyong.  "He's drunk."  "What- but he never drinks more than-"  "He's drunk." He said a little louder as I shut up. "Youngbae's taking care of him now."  My throat clogged as my eyes fogged up again. "I'm sorry.." I whispered, biting my lips. I had never intended for this to happen. Never, intended to cause so much sadness to Daesung.  "Jagi ah," Jiyong sighed as I re-registered his use of this calling to me. "It isn't your part to apologise. It's mine." He paused, his voice a little shakier. It wasn't hard to tell how bad he felt himself too. "Just trust me. I'll make everything right. Trust me, everything's gonna be alright. So sleep, baby."  I nodded reluctantly, holding the phone close to my ear. Jiyong hummed a lullaby softly as my eyelids got heavier and heavier, drifting off to sleep. Right before I lost consciousness, he whispered, "Baby goodnight." And the call ended with a soft click as the warm fuzzy darkness surrounded my mind, pulling me into dreamland.  Everything from then happened in a swirl. Weeks past and usually Daesung simply avoided me, or even if we had meet in the building, he would, at most, give me a curt nod of acknolegement. No eye smiles, no laughters, no expressions, no usual jokes, no friendship, no nothing. Nothing. Somehow it seems ironic, judging that the same situation occured just a few months back,just that it wasn't Daesung but Jiyong. I tried telling myself that it's alright; at least I hadn't lied to him but afterall its clear deep down that I had caused everything. I caused everything. Just like what my father siad years years ago when my mother left. I caused everything. Unknowingly , I withdrew to myself a little again,and focused on acting this piece of work, a fantasy romance film on the war that happened between vampires and angels when one of their kind fell in love with each other. I was assigned the role of an antagonist. I played a cold and unfeeling elder sister of the maain male character who cares about nothing but how to get herself more blood to suck on.  As a somewhat realistic person, the genre of the film already had me worrying over how to act out a fiction characterbut it didn't turn out as hard as I thought it would; as I realised, with some bitterness,that all I have to do is to become the old Kyungmi again, and I would seem close to my cold hearted character, Gladys.  However, I nearly cursed in shock when the director asked to add in a scene with me to jump off a particularly high branch to add in the "Sinister effect'.  "It'll be fine!" He squeaked as I glanced up disdainfully at the somehow unstable tree. "We'll give you safety ropes. This scene is necessary, Ms Choi! Gladys must appear in this way to stop her younger brother from sneaking to see his love so that it'll seem intidimating!"  "The tree doesn't look stable to me.." I began hesistantly, shifting uncomfortably in the leather vest and pants I'm in. Typical vampire costume.  "It'll be fine!" He repeated in his high pitched voice, "Cameraman, prepare to get the tapes rolling. You, set up the lighting. And you there! You're slacking off-"  I rolled my eyes. He just isn't going to listen to me. Turning frustradedly to the oppa who overlooked all the safety  equipments in the crew, I asked for my safety rope.  "You know, Kyungmi shi, I think you might be right. That tree really doesn't look strong enough. If you want, I can try persuading the director-nim for you." He said kindly, glancing at the tree while securing the ropes on my waist before throwing the hook up to the branch a little higher than the one I was going to jump off from. The one that looked stronger.  "Thanks, I'll be fine. It's my last scene anyway." I sighed, smiling a little as he gave an encouraging pat on my shoulder.  I made my way up the tree swiftly in no time, standing unsteadily on the creaking branch, trying to hide my fear of plunging down head first while my face remained as blank and emotionless as ever.  "Now in position-" The director barked squeakily, "Do it well Ms Choi, its your last scene! And.. Action!"  I swallowed. This is it. Jump, or get screamed at, which includes how his spit usually lands all over. Pressing down my fear and nervousness, I concentrated on the feelings and atmosphere as my fellow actor who plays my younger brother and the main lead in the movie begins his act, walking through the forest urgently, unaware that his noona is ambushing up on the tree, spying his every move like a hawk.  In 3..2..1. Yes, the moment is now. He's inches away from the foot of the tree. I hardened my jaws and leaped off, maintaining the posture that the director wanted me to hold in the air. My feet touched down first before my weight landed fully on it, earning me a painful crack that stunned me for a moment as I stay frozen, staring at my colleague, who's still in the act.  "Sis..sister!" He exclaimed, delivering his lines and bringing me back to my senses as my expression hardened and darkened again, trying to ignore the throbbing pain groaning at my ankle then. "What are you doing here?"  "Off to meet that pretty little angie again, aren't you?" I sneered, my voice that was slightly trembling from the intense pain only fitting the scene better.  After what seems like ages, the director screamed a "Cut!", his voice thick with satisfaction. I stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. Move my leg and act like nothing's wrong or check on what's causing the fire-like sensation. I limped as I squeezed a smile on my face, thanking everyone on the set for their hard work since it was my last scene. Nobody seemed to realise my ankle seemed twisted, although I hate to admit so. It wasn't surprising to me, who learnt not to rely on others since 10. Gritting my teeth, I dragged myself and my painful left leg to the fitting room that had been set up, grumbling in my mind just how "safe" that scene was.  I stripped off the unbearably warm leather vest to put on my usual cream knitted pullover. Deciding not to further touch my ankle, I left the leather jeans on, making a mental note in my mind to return it when my ankle gets better. Reaching for my sling bag, I was about to leave the changing room when my phone rang.  "Yes?" I answered, smiling a little upon seeing the caller ID.  "I'm fetching you today." Jiyong said plainly "I'm already waiting for you, where I dropped you off this morning."  "Aren't you busy?" I asked, confused. The CEO recently gave Jiyong the permission to officially prepare his solo album and I hate to admit that he's getting busier and busier day by day, so much that I hardly even see him now.  "I'm alright." He yawned "But hold on, why do you sound so soft? What's wrong?" He asked, concern taking over his tone immediately.  "Oh." I hesitated, reminded of the shooting pain in my ankle as I smiled grimly, "Just a little tired after filming, I guess. Where are you?" I said, trying to sound louder as I limped my way out, craning my neck to look for his manager's car that he steals and drives around since he just got his license.  "Just outside."  "I don't see you.." I frowned, my handphone pressed to my ear as I squinted my eyes to spot him  "I'm right here, babo yah, turn around."  And as I did, a smile appeared on my face as I caught him, finally. Standing a few meters away, in a loopsided Snapback, a chrome hearts pullover and faded jeans. A smile tugged at his lips even though he had his signature lazy expression as he gave a casual wave. I approached him quickly, trying to walk normal, sucking in my lips and controlling my facial expression, hoping that he wouldn't find anything wrong so that I can get home in peace where I'll apply a few medical patches and just let it mend up.  But it didn't. Even though I'm an actress, and I consider my acting skills at least a "Passable", his eyes travelled down to my leg, fixing on my ankle that I couldn't pretend doesn't look a bit twistedbefore snapping back up to look at me, frowning.  "You got yourself injured?"FEED ME COMMENTS.